Goodbyes
by Selenity Jade
Summary: Complete. Short chapters with each character dealing with Usagi's death.
1. Mizuno Ami

Goodbyes: Mizuno Ami  
  
Disclaimer: Sailormoon is not mine. I'm broke, don't sue!  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
She's gone. She's really gone this time. I sit numbly on the ground, barely taking notice I'm in Ichinohashi Park, the park she had enjoyed so much. The stars shine dimly tonight, almost if the entire universe is morning the loss of its protector. For all I know, it is.  
  
A month after her death and I haven't yet come to terms with it. I refused to believe she was truly gone. She had always made it before. She had always survived. She came back to us after defeating Beryl. She returned after saving us on Fiore's meteor. She made it back from the Galaxy Cauldron. She's returned after every death she has ever had. The ginzuishou brought her back every time. 'Why not now?' my mind kept asking in hope. 'Why not now?' But I know she's not coming back this time. I expected to see her around the Crystal Palace every moment. The beautiful Queen our sweet Usagi-chan turned into. And every time she didn't appear, it was slammed back into my mind. She's gone. She's really gone.  
  
I was walking in uptown Crystal Tokyo, when I found myself here. Then it truly hit me. Some emotion or force of habit led me here. To the park she kept fully restored from the old days of Tokyo. This park had so many memories for her and she didn't want to lose this part of her life. It was already so hard on our Princess to lose her family and friends throughout the centuries. This park was left intact in hopes that we will all remember our childhood. Remember what it was like to be normal and young. To remember what we are fighting for still. Serenity didn't want our immortality to numb us to the world and its pain. This park stands for all that.  
  
I felt a sad smile cross my face. Our little Princess turned out to be such a wonderful mother, wife, and ruler. Who would have thought, clumsy Usagi-chan would turn into a graceful, goddess-like ruler of the entire Earth? I miss her so much now. I miss seeing her around the palace. Acting as if she was still innocent Usagi-chan.  
  
She's gone. I start to weep silently. Usagi-chan is really gone. I lift my face to the sky, tears now falling freely. Me, who never yelled, never got upset, never lost it, never wept. Me, sitting on the wet grass in the middle of the night, weeping to the sky.  
  
"Why?!" I scream out. To who, I am uncertain. Maybe to God for not caring about my loneliness without her. Maybe to Fate for taking her from me. Maybe to her mother, Serenity, for making me live, only to see her die again. Maybe to Usagi-chan herself for leaving me alone, for dying. Or maybe to myself, for failing in my most sacred and cherished duty. To protect her.  
  
Oh, I know in my head I couldn't have saved her. But my heart is another story. My heart will never believe that. And because Usagi-chan taught me to listen to my heart, I can't ignore it. I should have been closer to her. I should have been faster. I should have trained more. I should have died in her place! All this echoes at me from my heart. My heart, which is slowly dying.  
  
My Queen was my life, my light. She taught me so much about enjoying life. And without her, I can't seem to care for anything anymore, but joining her. Even this planet and all within it can't stir anything within me. I know I have given up hope.  
  
I remember that she never gave up hope, ever. But, I am not strong like her. I cannot live without her. She always kept going. When Mamoru-kun lost his memories of her, she still believed. She still believed he would return to her. When Sailor Galaxia killed all of us, she still had hope. Hope that she could save us. Never, has she ever given up hope. But I am not she. I'm not pure like her. I don't have her faith. She was the one who gave us hope and promise when we had none.  
  
I remember what it was like so long ago, before I met her. I was so alone. Only she saw what was inside me. I studied hard because I was lonely. To escape the pain. Usagi-chan saw that and she befriended me. Made me open up and have fun. She became my friend when few would. Without her, I wouldn't have ever had true friends. And even now, I have friends. But we lost the one that kept us together. I am alone once more.  
  
Lately, I remember so many of my memories that I haven't recalled in decades. I remember that before I met Usagi-chan, I always felt like I was waiting. Waiting for someone. Someone important, yet unknown to me. I had always felt a void. I felt the void the Princess had left with me even then. The void where her presence was supposed to be. I knew I had to find that person. To protect someone. Yet, I felt like I was insane. Why would I be needed to protect any body? I was only a young girl who did nothing but study. Yet the feeling persisted. The feeling that when that person was found that my life would be complete. That is when she found me. All my waiting had been worth it. All I knew was that this girl named Usagi was my reason for living.  
  
Smiling at the memory of our first meeting, I let the tears continue. She saw I was alone and never let me bury myself in my studies again. Our precious princess was perceptive, although few would have realized it then. Now, we know better. We know she felt our pain, our loneliness, and our need. She knew us better than any other, and she cared for us with more feeling than any of us could guess.  
  
She knew immediately when I needed her. When Urawa-kun died, so long ago, I felt torn in two. She just showed up at my apartment, arms open, with a sympathetic smile on her face. She never said a word. I flew into her arms and cried my pain out. I cried for hours, and she never said a word. But it was right somehow. Because of her, I was able to move on. And maybe, because she will always be first in my heart, I made it all these centuries.  
  
Usagi-chan was the reason I am Sailor Mercury. She is the reason I fought. The reason I protected this galaxy. I loved being the Senshi of water and ice because it allowed me to protect the most important person to me. I loved being the Senshi of Knowledge and Wisdom because of her. She was my life. And my life is gone.  
  
I hate myself for not dying in her place. Yet I know she would never want that. My death or my self-hatred. Why did she have to protect us? "Why her?! Why couldn't it have been me?!" I scream out.  
  
Tsukino Usagi should never have been born with such a destiny. That beautiful girl would have loved to live a normal, happy life. Yet, she accepted her destiny. Accepted it, because she could have never stood by while her loved ones were hurt. She may not have seemed the most graceful or courageous person. She seemed spoiled and selfish. Yet, she had a grace all her own. Her courage was in facing such a burdensome destiny. In facing everyone with trust. And yes, she was selfish, but whenever it truly mattered, she would have gladly given anything to help her precious ones. That is without her being Sailor Moon.  
  
Sailor Moon should never have existed. The Moon Princess should never have been made a warrior. That is why she never wanted to fight. It was never in her blood. Only her incredible love for everything the dark forces wished to destroy kept her fighting. She always came through for the planet and us. She kept fighting even when it tore her heart in two. I always believed that Queen Serenity made a grave mistake making her daughter a Senshi. Yet, she saved us all. She destroyed every enemy that arose. And most of the time, it was not even her fighting that saved us. But her love and trust that turned the enemy to good, or made her sacrifice herself to save us all. So, maybe the Queen didn't make that big of a mistake. The Earth would have been destroyed long ago if it hadn't been for Sailor Moon.  
  
I remember the first sight of Princess Serenity so long ago on Earth. I wasn't even all that surprised to find that it was Sailor Moon. It fit somehow. Everything I had felt began to make sense. I knew I was to protect Sailor Moon, and it just made more sense when she turned out to be the long sought Princess. The first time I saw her, it astounded me. She was heavenly. An angel.  
  
Over time, our Usagi-chan came to take on the qualities of the Princess she was long ago. It was difficult to notice at first, but after the defeat of Galaxia, it became obvious. She was merging her identities. When her merger became complete, Crystal Tokyo followed shortly after. It was wondrous watching her mature into a Queen. So confident and proud. Graceful and wise. She made us proud.  
  
I laugh bitterly. Her greatest weakness was her fear of being alone. Of being left alone without the Senshi, without the King. Yet, she is the one to leave us. She is the one who died. Even though I would never wish any pain on her, I wish that I wouldn't ever have had to see her die. I wish it had been someone else. Me, another Senshi. Anybody but her. Yet, at the same time, I know it would have torn her apart to lose one of us.  
  
What will the galaxy do without its Queen? How will it – how will we survive without her? She ruled it for so long. She brought about peace and prosperity. She governed perfectly. Neo-Queen Serenity restored the Silver Millennium that her mother created so long ago. She repopulated the planets, restored our royal titles. She married her prince, and together they ruled the Galaxy. After a millennia, they were finally together for all time. No more trials. Only happiness. And they deserved it. She deserved it after so much pain.  
  
Will her daughter do as well? Will Chibi-Usa govern with as much wisdom? She raised her daughter well, but there are still doubts. All of the Senshi love the new Sailor Moon. The new Queen. Yet, she can never fill the void that was left when her mother left us. I suspect the only reason any of the Senshi or the King is still here is to make certain the new Queen will carry on. Our worry for the daughter of our beloved Queen keeps us here now. Maybe, when she has finally established herself all of us will slowly drift away. She doesn't need us. She has plenty of advisors. And Diana will always be with her. Diana's loyalty and heart belongs to the daughter, not the mother. She is saddened by the Queen's death, but she feels only mourning. Not death.  
  
We are all bonded to our Queen. We all felt her death. We felt as if we died too. And I wished I had died with her. My life is meaningless now. We watched and felt our reason for living die. How any of us survived is a mystery. Maybe a part of her saved us from that too. Made us go on without her. Yet, how can I? How can I survive when my life is gone? How can I move on?  
  
I feel so much guilt over never telling her how much I care about her. How much I love her. I always thought I would have more time. Forever really. And I figured she knew. I regret that now. As I regret so much now.  
  
I stare silently at the moon, taking notice that the moonlight is so bright this night. Almost as if it is welcoming her into eternity. "Usagi-chan," I weep. "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. Just like I couldn't protect you on the moon a millennia ago. I'm sorry I am alive while you are not. I have never wanted to die as much as I do right now. I feel the void more clearly now then before I met you. I felt you die, Serenity. I felt your presence disappear. I felt my soul rip apart. As if a part of me went with you. I want to be with you, Usagi-chan." I start to shake as the tears fall faster.  
  
"How will I survive without you? How can I fight when my reason for fighting is gone? I can I keep on at the palace when I am not needed anymore. When all it does is remind me that you are no longer here? I lost my best friend, my Queen, my life. I lost my will to live because I lost you. I can't even breathe without being reminded of you. I'm still here because I know that you would want us to look after your daughter. I live because I can't bear to disappoint you again. Do you know how much you mean to us, to me? Do you know that every time we fought I fought for you? I studied for you, to protect you. I'm sorry I never said you are my life. I'm sorry I never said you are my best friend. But most of all, I am sorry I never told you I love you."  
  
"I know, Ami-chan, I know." I snap my head around looking for her, but deep inside I know she isn't there. I smile sadly through my tears.  
  
"Thank you, Usagi-chan," I whisper. I slowly get up; noticing the stiffness of sitting in the same position for hours took its toll, and looked around. Noticing the lightening sky, I realize it is almost dawn.  
  
I know she is gone, yet I will see her again soon. The time of the Sailor Senshi has passed on now. But until Chibi-Usa is established, I will endure. I'll miss my Queen terribly but I'll keep going. I'll survive for a while longer. I now know that she knows I love her, which eases my guilt. I will care for the new ruler until I am no longer needed. I will care for her daughter as my last gift to my beloved friend. I will live for now. Soon, I'll see her again.  
  
"Soon, Usagi-chan," I whisper to the wind. "Soon."  
  
~~~  
  
AN: This is the first installment of a series of emotional pieces on the death of Usagi by various Sailor Senshi and SM characters. It was my very first fic way back in HS (and I'm 24 now, so you can imagine how long ago that was), though I have revamped it a bit. I hope you like it.  
  
Lovies! 


	2. Hino Rei

Goodbyes: Hino Rei  
  
Disclaimer: Sailormoon is not mine. But if someone is willing to sell it to me for let's say $3.00 I'll buy it from ya!  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
'I can't believe that Odango Atama!' I rage in front of the Sacred Fire as I have every night since her death. What was she thinking?! I pace back and forth. She left us. She left me! I can't believe she's dead. I keep raging to keep myself from feeling the pain, the loneliness, and the despair. That has always been my defense I think. As long as I stay angry, I can't feel the pain. I know I can't keep this up though, the tears are threatening, and my anger is fading.  
  
I am so afraid. Afraid that they will know I cannot go on. That they will see how weak I am without her. I'm afraid that they will see I never lived without her. I'm afraid that I will disappoint them, disappoint her. I'm afraid that the senshi will die without her, and it will be my fault. That her world will die without her. We were her protectors, but she was the Earth's and the Universe's protector. She is why I fought. She is why I lived. I'm afraid...she never knew how I felt. I'm afraid I am alone. I'm afraid that I will never be with her again. I'm afraid to go on without her. I'm afraid to live without her.  
  
I sit dully in front of the Sacred Fire. It hasn't given me a vision since her death. Tears cloud my eyes. "No!" I get up and pace again. 'I can't cry, I can't.' Tears fall despite my efforts, and I throw myself onto the floor.  
  
"Why?" I weakly ask. Why did she have to leave us, leave me? Why couldn't it have been me? Why did she have to protect us? It was *our* duty, our beloved duty to protect her. The one person who shed light into our lives, into our souls. I failed in that duty. I failed.  
  
I curl into a ball, rocking myself back and forth. 'I failed,' I repeat to myself. 'I failed.' I didn't protect her. I didn't save her, my best friend. I lost her, the most important person in the Senshi's lives, in my life and I let her die. She was everything to us, to me. Without her, I am alone, we are all alone now. I don't want to be here without her. I'm afraid that I won't be able to carry on without her.  
  
I laugh bitterly. I told Endymion so many comforting words that night and I didn't believe a thing I said. That we will make it without her. No, I can't make it without her. That we will see her again someday. I don't believe I will. I was never a good friend to her. Wherever she is right now, it is a place where angels go. I am not good enough to go with her. That is why I haven't tried to join her. That is why I am alive right now. That and the promise I made to her, so long ago. A promise I will never break, because I have already broken too many. A promise to make sure the senshi and Mamoru-kun survive, live and be happy should she ever die. Yes, I am trying to show them life will go on. Yet, I cannot believe it myself. I am holding them together, when I cannot hold myself together. How ironic.  
  
I can't go anywhere without noticing she is not there. I walk the empty palace halls, my footsteps echoing and with every step, I notice her absence. Her laughter. Her smile not longer brightened our lives, our home. She's no longer holding court every day, I watch helplessly as her mourning daughter tries to fill her mother's shoes. I watch as the other senshi attempt to go on, each feeling as I do. Lost. And alone.  
  
'She's never coming back.' The realization shocked me to the depths of my soul. She will never come back. Never light up my life. Never fight with me again, fight with me like the sister I always felt her to be. She will never wail, laugh, or smile again. She will never scold her daughter. She won't ever squeal with excitement on her birthdays. She will never again kiss her daughter goodnight or tell her stories of the days long past. She'll never kiss her Prince, her King again. She will never come back.  
  
How will I go on without my reason to get up in the morning? How will I fight when my reason for fighting is gone? How will I survive without her? Big surprise there. Hino Rei, who acted as though she hated Tsukino Usagi, when in truth, cared for her more than anything in this world and beyond.  
  
I remember the first time I met Usagi-chan. She came to the temple and when she saw me, she didn't think I was weird for being psychic. She didn't think I was a freak. She thought I was great. Yes, she touched my soul even then. She is the soul of pureness. She has never had a vindictive or mean thought in her entire life. How could I hate her?  
  
As Sailor Moon, she was a bit of a wimp and a klutz, but she fought. She fought for what she believed in and for what she cared for. She was prepared to lose everything to protect her loved ones. I saw that and I admired her. Me, Rei, admiring the Odango Atama. Yes, I admired her. I admired her strength. Her willpower. Her grace. Her love. Her heart. When I first realized I was Sailor Mars, I made a silent vow to always protect her, a long time before knowing she was the Moon Princess we had been sworn to protect.  
  
Ah, the princess. She was a goddess. An angel. She loved unconditionally. As the Princess of Mars, I knew she would have been a truly wonderful queen. When I found out she was Neo-Queen Serenity, I wasn't surprised. She was born to rule and rule well. She was a great queen. Even better then her mother. She was a wonderful mother and a perfect wife to Endymion. She was perfect.  
  
I know she would never want any of us to join her in death. She'd want us to live, be happy, after all that is what she died for. How can I be happy when I know I will never see her again? I feel her absence deep within my soul. I feel it every waking moment. I think all the senshi have a bond with her. Maybe not as strong as Endymion's but I know I feel her absence more than I have felt anything in my life. I felt her presence every moment she was alive since I met her, even when she wasn't present. I've felt her inside my heart for over a thousand years. Now, I feel emptiness. Nothing. I feel nothing where I should feel warmth.  
  
I wish I could have told her I care for her, that I'll miss her. That I do miss her. I regret so much now. I regret picking on her so much. I regret not telling her that I love her.  
  
"Usagi," I sob out. "I never called you that much, did I? I've always called you Odango Atama or lazy, a klutz, or stupid. I am sorry, Usagi. I never thought any of those things. You were everything I was not. You were so bright and happy, and I never told you what you mean to me. Why didn't I tell you I love you, Usagi? I do love you. I waited until you can no longer hear me before I tell you. How pathetic I am. The most important person in my life, the reason I was alive is gone and you never knew how I felt." I cry harder as I try to finish my last goodbye to my best friend.  
  
"I never told you that I was never mad about Mamoru-kun loving you. I knew that when we were dating, he was waiting for someone. Someone who wasn't me. I saw him look at you, like he never looked at me, even before we knew you were Serenity. I knew he could never love me, because I knew he could only love one person and that person was you. I cared for him but I knew he would never feel that way towards me. I am happy that he found you. I'm happy you found him. I am happy for both of you. I wasn't very hurt about it, since I knew deep in my soul he would have never loved anyone but you. Comes with being psychic, I think. You finally had happiness, true happiness, after you gave each of us, gave me, happiness." I look out the window at her former home, the moon.  
  
"Usagi-chan, I am sorry I failed you. I'm sorry I want to die so I don't have to feel the pain, the loneliness, and the despair any longer. Most of all, I am sorry...sorry I never told you I love you."  
  
"Don't worry, Rei-chan. I always knew." I smile a little.  
  
"Thank you, Odango Atama." I am still lost and alone, but now I know she knows how I feel. I'll go on, to protect this world in her stead, because she cannot. I will go on, to fulfill a promise I made to my princess, my friend, my life. I will watch her daughter take up the throne and someday soon, I will be reunited with my best friend. Until then, she will be in my heart and soul. Always.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: *sniff* I think I have some sort of twisted obsession with killing off the character I like most... when they're female of course. I like torturing the male counterpart in my fics, and their friends. I don't know why...  
  
Lovies! 


	3. Kino Makoto

Goodbyes: Kino Makoto  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own, please don't sue!  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
'Usagi-chan. Why did she have to leave? This isn't fair!' I throw my frying pan across the kitchen. It makes a loud thud as it hit the wall. 'Damn, now I'll have to fix the dent.' The realization that she won't come back just hit me. I was cooking, cooking for her, when I finally realized she is gone.  
  
I was supposed to protect her. Since the moment I saw her, I protected her. I felt an overwhelming need to make sure no harm came to her. I was her bodyguard. I always thought with actions more that with words, but she always understood. She never judged, she never thought anything of it. She saw it as a part of me and cared for me just the same.  
  
I always wondered what she saw in me. What made her decide to be my friend? She was never afraid of me, like the others were. She just plopped down next to me and started to chat. I don't think it ever entered her mind to be afraid of me. I think at that moment, I realized I'd always protect her. Protect her because she had the heart and insight to see beyond my violent ways, to see I wasn't a bad person.  
  
I punch the wall, barely feeling the pain. 'Damn, another dent.' Tears cloud my eyes. 'Why her?' I ask silently. The world, the universe needs her. I need her so much.  
  
The tears now fall, and I slide down the wall onto the floor as sobs overtake me. Why did she try to protect us? Why did she die? Couldn't she see, I would die a million deaths, just so she could smile once more? Just to have her laugh again. Just to see her kiss Endymion one last time.  
  
"Why?" I sob. I don't understand how fate could be so cruel to take away the one girl who could light up the universe with her smile. Could take a girl who could make troubles flow away with her laugh. A girl who could make people try to take away her pain, when they did not even know her. Everyone who saw her cared for her. She took away the loneliness, the pain, and the sadness. Brightened our lives, and gave meaning to our existence.  
  
The first time I saw Tsukino Usagi, she was getting picked on by those bullies, something about her made me want to protect her, want to shelter her. Make sure she never felt the loneliness I have. Make sure she never had tears in her eyes. Eyes that sparkled with life. She looks so fragile, who would have thought she had such strength.  
  
When I met Sailor Moon, she caused the same feeling of protectiveness as Usagi-chan did. I couldn't let that beautiful warrior fight alone. I had to help. Then, as Sailor Jupiter, I could protect her and fight with her so much better. I have always believed she was a great leader. I believed she was the strongest of us all. I always believed in her.  
  
When we found our Moon Princess, I wasn't surprised. I think I always felt that deep within my heart. I wasn't even surprised Mamoru-san was her prince and Tuxedo Kamen. I saw how he looked at her, how she looked at him. She had a presence about her, a warmth when she was near, the presence she has around herself as Serenity.  
  
I wrap my arms around my knees and lay my head on them. I can't believe she is gone now. Everything I see, reminds me of her. The park reminds me of how often we met there. Roses remind me of Mamoru-san saving her repeatedly. Chocolate reminds me of her pigging out on a chocolate hot fudge sundae. Walking passed the schools always reminds me of how many tests she and I failed together over a thousand years ago. Cooking reminds me of how often I cooked for her. The palace walls echoed loudly in her absence, each step reminding me that she no longer walks these halls of her own palace. Her home.  
  
I failed in my duty to protect her, a vow that was made lifetimes ago. A vow that was remade when I met her. A duty I enjoyed because she was so special. I let her protect us, I don't know how I should have stopped her, but I should have found a way!  
  
She took my loneliness away, the loneliness I have felt since my parents died, and before. She gave meaning to my life, she gave me a purpose. I feel like my life is meaningless how. How am I supposed to fight anymore? How can I cook when all I think about is how I will never cook for her again? How can I live anymore? Yes, I, Kino Makoto, have lost the will to fight, to cook, and to live. She was everything and without her, I am nothing. I just want to die. My body shakes with the force of my sobs.  
  
I never even realized I never told her how I felt. Never once said that she was important. Never told her she was special, special to the senshi, special to me. I never told her I love her.  
  
"Oh, Usagi-chan," I choke out. "Usagi-chan, why? Why did you protect us? We are nothing without you. You gave our lives meaning. You gave us hope. I never believed you would leave us so soon. I never believed you would die. Why did I never tell you I need you? Why did I never say thank you for being my friend? Usagi-chan, you were my best friend. You understood me as Shinozaki did not, could not understand me." I shake harder trying to find the words to tell my princess how I feel.  
  
"Do you remember when you and I were chasing after Motoki-san? How we were love senshi? I remember your eyes when you looked at Mamoru-san. I knew you didn't want Motoki-san, I knew. But that wasn't important. What was important was the fun we had chasing him. Do you remember, Usagi-chan?" I look out the window towards the moon tears staining my cheeks.  
  
"I never had a problem falling for guys, but I always had problems making friends. I never had as good as friends as you and Shinozaki. But I was never able to completely open up to him. How could I have told him I'm Sailor Jupiter? How could I have explained to him I'm a princess from a couple thousand years ago sworn to protect the Moon Princess with my very life in need be? He'd have had me committed. He died not knowing my secret. You knew all of my secrets. You understood. Because, how could you explain to others how you are the Moon Princess, destined to become Queen of Crystal Tokyo? You felt that same pain." The moon wavers through my tears.  
  
"Usagi-chan, I think all of us senshi have a bond with you. A bond made of the feelings we feel towards you, made because our destinies were intertwined. Maybe it was because of your mother so long ago sending us into the future; we had to be connected in order to be born in the same time. I have never had a friend quite like you. You made us happy and complete while taking away our pain and loneliness. You gave us life, Usagi-chan. You made our lives - my life shine. I'm sorry I never told you how important you are to me. I regret that so much right now." The moon seems to hold some sort of power over me, and I cannot look away.  
  
"Usagi-chan, I know I always seemed like the strongest of the inner senshi, but I'm not. I am weak because I cannot live without you. I don't want to live without you. Everyone tries to comfort me, but how can I tell them what you mean to me? That you mean so much to me, that even though I want to die, I want your world you worked so hard to bring to peace to survive. I will help train your daughter to rule. I will live in hopes I will see you again. I will live so that your world is still safe until your daughter takes on the throne alone." I sob down the uncontrollable anger at what fate has done to me, taken her away, taken her life.  
  
"Usagi-chan, I wish...I wish I could have told you how much I love you."  
  
"You just did, Mako-chan, you just did." Was that the wind? Have I finally lost my mind? I stand and move towards the window.  
  
"Thank you, Usagi-chan," I whisper, hoping she will hear me. I know that I'll always miss her, and I'll be with my princess again soon. But until then, I'll live. I will protect the world she loved so much and look after her daughter, for my friend. My best friend.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: Not great, but not HORRIBLE at least. :P It's still an old fic, and it feels so weird to read now... but maybe when I finish reposting my parts I'll add new characters. ^_^  
  
Lovies! 


	4. Aino Minako

Goodbyes: Aino Minako  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine!  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
No! I wake up suddenly, my hair is sticking to my neck and forehead, and my body is covered with a thin layer of sweat. I had that nightmare again. The nightmare I've had every night since her death. I watch her die, repeatedly in my dreams. Tears flood my eyes. 'Why Usagi-chan?' Still upset from seeing her die again, I quickly head for the bathroom. I need a bath; maybe it'll relax me.  
  
Running the water, I strip and gently sit in the scalding water. I don't even bother to turn on the lights. The light from the moon bathes me as much as the water does. I'm glad Artemis decided to stay with Luna tonight. She needs comfort. 'And you don't?' a voice in my mind asks.  
  
Tears reappear when I start to think of Serenity again. 'Why Usagi-chan?' I ask myself again. I should have saved her! I am the leader of the inner senshi, her protectors. I should have saved her. It should have been me who died. I would have then fulfilled my duty. My poor princess. My tear-streaked face crumples as sobs overtake me.  
  
I am a failure. I should have been a better leader. I should have been more mature. I shouldn't have been such a ditz. I should have known she would try to protect us. I should have anticipated it. I should have stopped her. I should have stopped her!  
  
Oh, Usagi-chan. My friend. Why did she have to leave me? Am I destined to be alone for my failure? Was this destiny...to have her die? Was this how she was supposed to go? Leave her young daughter without a mother and possibly without her father? Or is this a mistake? Pluto is the only one who could know, and she will never tell.  
  
I failed in my duty – a duty I loved – to protect a goddess. Yet I let our Princess, Our Queen protect us. Why didn't I move faster? Why did she have to protect us? Any of us would have gladly died to protect her. Yet, she protected us. That was how big her heart was. She died to protect the senshi and Endymion. I know why she did it...but I should have prevented it. I am the leader of her guard. I should have stopped her. I should have died instead. We cannot survive without her; I cannot survive.  
  
All of us are devastated, especially Endymion, and I doubt he will even survive this. Hell, even I want to die. Just to be with her. I know she would want me to make sure the other senshi and her King survive this. She'd want to me to help her daughter rule until she can take it on herself. But how can I when I am barely surviving? I know that Mamoru-san is lost. I am the Senshi of Love. I know that those two were soul-bonded...and death of one usually leads to the death of the other. And their bond is stronger than I could have imagined. Their bond is probably the strongest that ever will be. Yet, I am faced with the impossible task of keeping the senshi and him alive. *HOW?!* I cannot even convince myself to live.  
  
Queen Serenity sent us here so that we could be happy. But we will never be truly happy now. The rest of my life will be filled with the pain and loneliness of losing the most important person in my life. I will always be aware of the void her death left me with. For the first time, I truly hate myself. I truly hate the fact I was reborn to see her die again. I hate the fact I am leader and as such I must survive to lead the others through this. I may hate that fact...but because of Usagi-chan, I would never give up on my duty. I don't want her to feel disappointed in me or to hate me.   
  
She was the most beautiful person I ever saw. Her loving soul touched me deeply. Even now, I know she would want us to survive, to live and carry on in her name. Yet, it is the hardest thing I have ever had to face. How can I keep on living when the reason I lived for so long is gone? How can I keep fighting without the reason I fought? Yes, I fought for Earth and good...but the real reason I fought was for her and her love of justice and Earth.  
  
I remember how I cried...cried when I felt the burden of leadership. She somehow knew I needed her...and she came to me and held me while I cried. She cried with me, as I know she felt the same burden. The burden of being a princess destined to be ruler. She cried with me because she felt the same burden if a little more keenly than me. I was only leader of her guard. She was leader of a world. Realizing her pain, helped me to let myself feel the burden, but not be overwhelmed by it. She understood me, like no one ever has.  
  
I first saw her as Usagi-chan; she was outside of a building, wailing because someone stole her Sailor Moon identity. I felt a pull towards this girl. And I didn't understand it. I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to ease her pain and I didn't know why. I knew I was Sailor V and Sailor Venus, and I had to find the Moon Princess, yet this girl distracted me. If it hadn't been for Artemis, I would have stopped to comfort her. That surprised me.  
  
When I saw Sailor Moon within Kunzite's dome, I felt an uncontrollable rage. I didn't know why, but seeing her like that made me angry. I knew she shouldn't be caged. Not a beautiful person like her. After the rescue and how she thought I was so cool...I knew, and I vowed for all time, that I would protect her. I wanted to protect her innocence and naiveté. I wanted to protect her inner strength.  
  
Finding out she was the Moon Princess we had all sought for didn't really surprise me. I had barely met her, yet I knew she was special. Seeing that angel before me, I remembered something precious. That she must always be protected and loved. That I must destroy the evil in this world...so that she could be happy with her prince. Seeing the wordless despair of losing her prince on her face, I vowed revenge on those that made that expression linger on her perfect face.  
  
Losing her like this is devastating. She was a wonderful Queen and she should have lived so much longer. So much longer with me. With the Senshi, the King, her daughter. I feel the loneliness and pain. The heartrending despair that her death has caused me. And I am supposed to lead. With her death...Pluto told me, I am to be Queen Regent now until Small Lady is old enough. I don't want to rule. I want to be the leader of her guard again. I want my Queen back. That I supposedly profited from her death, fills me with such guilt and hatred of myself...it is suffocating.  
  
"WHY?!" I scream, heedless of the fact there are people sleeping downstairs. Why I ask. Why do I have to carry on? Why do I have to take on her duties? Why do I have to be strong for everyone else, when all I want to do is die? I am not strong. I am weak, so weak without her. She meant the world to me. She meant everything to me, and I have to survive. For if I do not, I know she would be disappointed. Why can't this duty of rule fall on the King? But I already know why. Pluto didn't give him that duty, because she knows that he will not survive this, and even if he does, he will be empty. Without life or love, and giving him the duty his love and soul mate was suppose to carry with him, might push him over the edge. Even worse than he is now. And might very well kill him, if her death does not.  
  
"Usagi-chan," I sob loudly as my shaking causes ripples in the bath water. "Usagi-chan, why do I have to live? Why do I have to take up your place? Why don't you come back like you have so many times before? I know I am a leader, but I was only supposed to be leader of you guard. I can't be Queen Regent for the Princess. I can't live for years without you. I feel the pain so keenly now, how can I feel this pain for that long? Even in your death, I think of people besides myself...yet, all I want is to join you." I cry harder, and look upon the moon that shines through the window.  
  
"Usagi-chan, I never told you how much you mean to me, did I? I never told you I looked up to you. I never once said thank you for being you. I never told you that you were my sister in spirit, if not in body. I was leader of your guard not only for duty's sake but because you needed me as the leader. I did everything for you, do you realize that? I lived, I fought, and I even loved for you, Serenity. I enjoyed this world because you opened my eyes to the little pleasures in life. I was able to survive, to resolve what happened with Adonis... Everything." As my sobs turn silent, I move closer to the window...to see her home a little closer.  
  
"Usagi-chan, I don't want to take over for you. I feel like I'm replacing you, and a poor replacement at that. I don't ever want to replace you. I never wanted that. Why, Usagi-chan? Why did you have do leave this on me?" I sob out.   
  
"Usagi-chan, I regret letting you protect us, yet I know that you would never have done any differently. I regret that I cannot save your Endymion as only he can do that. I regret so much, my Queen. But most of all I regret that you never heard the words of what you meant to me. I regret not saying... I love you. For I do love you, Usagi-chan. You inspired, you lead, and you loved us so much. Yet, I never told you I appreciated or loved you. I wonder if I will ever be able to tell you that. I wonder if you knew."   
  
"I knew, V-chan." As more tears fall, I smile. My princess knows. My princess really knows I love her and always have.  
  
"Thank you, Usagi-chan," I whisper, standing up out of the bath. Wrapping a towel around myself, I step out and look up at the moon again. She will always be here in spirit. I miss her terribly. Now, I can take on the burden she once had, because she needs me to. I can be leader of the senshi again, because she wishes it. I can do this all for a few more years. For the princess I will one day be reunited with. For her.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: God, this is all awkward stuff and all. *sigh*  
  
Lovies! 


	5. Ten'ou Haruka

Goodbyes: Ten'ou Haruka  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't own, I only *wish* I did.  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
'Why Odango?!' I ask fate yet again. Driving home from one of my races, I realized it. I finally realized it. I knew she died. But I never let myself realize it. Driving has always calmed me, yet I raced so long ago to run from my destiny. I want to run from it again. I want to run from the pain of her death. Slamming on the brakes, I pull over and get out of my car. Slamming the car door, I take off running. Running away, I suppose. I know I should be comforting Michiru, but I can't right now. I can't comfort her when the pain is too much for me. How can I comfort her, when I am not comforted?  
  
I run away, as fast as I have ever ran. I slow to a stop, standing over a cliff. Running didn't let me escape the pain. I still felt it. So why run anymore?   
  
Looking over the ocean, I see the waves hit the rocks below me. Why did she have to protect us? Any of us would have gladly died for her, yet the innocent, naive Queen ran in front of the blast, taking it full on. I can still hear her heartrending scream of pain. Yet, the scream held something else. Held relief, relief for saving her friends and her love. It also held regret. Regret for her loved ones. Most of all it held all the love she had for Endymion, and us and the reason she sacrificed herself. For love.  
  
Not for the first time, tears threaten. But unlike before, I let them come. I'm tired of fighting the pain, the despair. I look up to the moon as the first tears touch my cheeks. The first tears I have shed in a long time. Tears for a woman I cared for. I have been angry with her and hated her...yet, I really should have directed that towards myself. I didn't protect her. I failed in a duty as old as time. A duty to protect the light of the universe. The one person capable of saving it.  
  
The Outers have always held themselves aloof from the Inners, yet we too felt the light of our princess, and our duty for the princess, just as keenly. We also felt the loneliness of our posts. We have held ourselves aloof for duty, yet we didn't like it. We were jealous of the Inners for their duty let them be with the princess, while ours did not. But that was a long time ago, during the Silver Millennium.  
  
Usagi-chan taught us – me – so much. She taught me the value of co-operation. The value of friendship. She taught me to let people in. She let me take pleasure in our duty, when before I had run from it. Run from it, because I didn't want to be even more alone than I already was. Yet that same duty I was afraid of let me be with my princess, who took the loneliness away. Yes, I know I have Michiru...she and I share a deep love, but our duty will always be first in our hearts.  
  
When I first met Tsukino Usagi, she intrigued me. She drew me to her, like no other ever has. I was torn. I felt protectiveness for this young girl whom shown with light and life, yet I loved Michiru. I was torn apart by that. I felt like I was betraying her. It wasn't until we found out she was the princess did I understand and realize I need not be torn. Usagi-chan was so full of life like I was not, that I felt the need to make sure she did not feel pain like I had.  
  
When I first saw Sailor Moon, I was cruel and insensitive when it came to her but it was because I was afraid. Afraid of how she made me want to protect her and fight with her. I felt we had different objectives and wanting to fight with her confused me. Especially when I wanted to fight for her.  
  
Realizing she was our princess and the Messiah of Light, everything was made clear. She was why we fought. I let myself care for her and relished my duty for the first time in a millennium. I love Michiru but my duty to Serenity comes first. It is the same for my wife. I felt whole and happy and peace filled my soul when we realized our search was over and our Princess was alive. I swore to protect her, because she needed someone who didn't always see the good in people. She did tend to be too trusting yet I still looked up to that. How in the world, with everything she went through, she could still trust everybody? I knew though. She was pure and good. She was the incarnation of all that was good in the world. She was the universe's child. She held no malice for any of the pain inflicted on her. When I would have. She was a goddess, our Princess, our Queen.  
  
I looked up over the horizon, starting to feel the despair and self-hatred. I hate myself for failing in my duty. I may have run from it before, but that was no excuse not to live up to it. I hate myself for letting her die. I hate myself for not protecting her. I feel defeated. I really despise myself for not telling her how I feel. How much she changed my life. I wish I could have let her know that she meant so much to me. She and Michiru were my life. And I failed her; I failed Michiru. I feel torn again. I failed my Queen by letting her die. I failed Michiru for letting our Queen die and causing her the pain I feel. I failed in not telling her what she meant to me. I failed in letting her know... I love her. 'I failed,' I repeat again. Sobbing harder, I look up at the full moon.  
  
"Odango," I sob quietly. "Serenity, I am sorry. I'm sorry I failed you. I'm sorry I am alive when I should have died protecting you. I know you don't want that. I know you don't want any of us to hurt. Yet, without you, we feel empty. I feel empty. I was never as close to you as the Inners but I cared and cherished you the same as they did. I may have Michiru but that never diminished my feelings for you. Why did I have to hide my feelings? Why couldn't I have opened up just once? Just once to tell you what you mean to me. Why did I have to be so hard?" The moon shines despite my pain, and the tears fall faster as my body shakes with the pain.  
  
"Odango, remember when I kissed you? How jealous Mamoru-san was? I felt something in that kiss. Not the feeling that I'm sure Mamoru-san feels, but a spark. Like I knew you. Like I must be near you. Not in the same way as the King but I had to protect you and be with you. You filled me with peace. I had hope for the future and felt your hope in that kiss. I never knew why I kissed you then. But I do now. It is because I love you... the very same love the other senshi feel. But maybe I am also a little bit in love with you. Did you know that? Did you know I love you? Did you know you meant so much to me?" I fall to my knees, still staring at the moon.  
  
"Why didn't I tell you how much you mean to me? I have so much I wish I could have told you. I wish I could have told you that being born again in this world and finding you made me very happy. That we were finely able to be with the Princess we wanted and had to protect. That we were finally able to live with our reason for protecting the universe made us want to fight. I was jealous of your guard during the Silver Millennium. I was jealous because they had you. That they never felt what we, the Outers, felt. The loneliness of our posts. They never realized how lucky they were. How lucky we are now. Do you know I felt lucky that I was able to fight by your side instead of from afar? Do you know I loved my duty then? Do you know I love you?!" I cry out.  
  
"I know, Haruka-chan, I know." I smile through the tears, not the least bit surprised. Our princess could accomplish anything, and giving us hope beyond the grave is one of those accomplishments.   
  
"Thank you, Odango," I say. I stand up slowly, brushing off my jeans. Looking up at the moon again, I sigh softly.  
  
I still wish she were here. But maybe, it'll be just like what we Outers did so long ago. We will protect our Queen's world, alone. We will protect what she loves without being with her. It is painful, but for her, I would do anything. For my princess, my Queen and my friend. For my love Michiru, and my love Serenity, Usagi-chan, Odango, and Sailor Moon. I will continue. I will help her daughter to become Queen and maybe, someday, I can be at peace. With my wife and my Queen.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: This one was really hard... and it's really bad. *sigh*  
  
Lovies! 


	6. Kaioh Michiru

Goodbyes: Kaioh Michiru  
  
Disclaimer: Sailormoon is not mine nor will it ever be mine. I dream though!  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Gone. I lower my violin, realization hitting my very soul. She's gone. Looking at my violin, but not really seeing it, I slowly sit down. I watch her die repeatedly in my mind. Closing my eyes tightly, I try to shut out the images, knowing it won't help. Why? I want to know how destiny could be so cruel. Destiny took away our princess. Didn't we give up enough for fate? Didn't we give up our dreams, our lives, and our very happiness? Only our happiness was Serenity. And it decided to take the one thing our duty provided us with that made it all worth it. I want to give up. Give up being Sailor Neptune. Give up living.  
  
I denied her death for almost a week. I didn't want to give in to the pain and despair that little angel gave us when she died. I know how much Haruka is suffering, denying it also. But I cannot help her. How can I when I feel the torment too? I cannot give her words of comfort when I know of none in this. I am not comforted. Picking up the violin, I start to play. I start to play a song from my heart. Hearing the music, it is heartrending. The same as I feel. I pour myself into that song. Pouring out the pain, the loneliness, and the despair. Hoping that maybe, it'll make me feel better.   
  
Remembering her smile and her laugh makes the music turn to fond sadness. I will never again see her smile, hear her laugh, or feel her presence in my life. I will never again feel the peace she gave us. Letting the song end, I set my violin down and slowly walk towards the balcony. Letting the wind blow my hair softly, I close my eyes.  
  
I remember. I remember seeing her as Usagi-chan, how she was so full of life and how she cared. She cared for everyone so deeply; I'm surprised she didn't go crazy. Go crazy from the pain that people give each other. Yet, maybe that is why she was so hopeful. If she believed the best in people, the pain they caused each other was much easier to deal with. I respected how she could be so hopeful about the future. Her eyes showed wisdom beyond her years, beyond her thousand of years. Her eyes had shown with wisdom, hope, dreams, and life. Her eyes simply shined with life. Her outlook on everything made me wish to keep this world protected. And I didn't even know who she was. I just wanted her to always stay hopeful and trusting. She made me feel so connected to this world, and to her. Maybe my soul knew who she was even then. My feelings for her confused me and tormented me sometimes. I was trying to be cold so that I could find the talismans and here she was, wanted everyone to live and be happy. I had thought the world didn't work that way. I was so very wrong.  
  
As Sailor Moon, it tore me apart to be so cold to her when all she wanted to do was protect her loved ones and her world. It tore at my very soul to see her eyes when she looked at me. Hope and trust were there, but so was disbelief and hurt at the pain of what I threatened to do to find those talismans. She trusted me because somewhere in her soul she believed we were on the same side, yet every action and word I did and said contradicted that. She was confused and I hated myself for doing that to the beautiful warrior. She inspired my protection. She made me want to protect her and her beliefs. She made me want to fight for her and with her, yet I thought I could not. I regret not joining her, maybe it would have turned out a little differently. Less painful.  
  
Learning our precious Usagi-chan and Sailor Moon was the Messiah and our princess from so long ago was in some way a relief. I then knew that I had a bigger purpose and the destiny and duty I had so hated, became less of a burden and even a pleasure. I wanted to protect her and her prince. I wanted to protect her innocence and life. I wished to keep her smiling and happy for all time. A thousand years ago, I was never able to protect her directly. Our duty was solitary and lonely. But we were reborn here together with our princess. We were happy and peace filled my soul for the first time in both of my lives. I was no longer alone and no longer had to fulfill my duty alone.  
  
Now, I feel the pain, the despair, the hopelessness, and the loneliness like never before. I failed in my duty. I failed my princess. I failed the other senshi and I failed Haruka. I let her die. Now our chance at happiness is gone. We will forever feel the pain her death left us, those of us that survive this. All of us must fight an inner battle. A battle to survive for her when we want to join her. I know that the King is probably lost and that grieves me as well. That her husband will die and I cannot keep him alive for her. I will fail in that as well. Pluto told us to leave him alone but what if he goes? How could we face our Queen in the next life knowing we could not save her love?  
  
Looking over Crystal Tokyo from the window, I see the lights of the happy people and their happy families. I start to feel a jealousy so fierce it startles me. They will never know the pain. The pain of a duty failed. The pain of a loss this great. The pain of bonds broken, bonds between the princess and each of the senshi. They will never feel the loneliness of losing someone so special that has lasted a thousand years and would have lasted longer. They will never feel the despair that I now feel and I hate them for that. I regret that hate yet cannot stop myself from feeling it. I know that Usagi-chan would never want that.  
  
I looked up towards the moon. The beautiful moon, the home of our angel. Tears fall freely and my body shakes with emotion. I regret not talking more with her. I regret not telling her how much I cared for her. I am sorry for not telling her that we are glad we were reborn here with her. I regret not telling her that I love her.  
  
"Usagi-chan, why?" I whisper softly, sobbing over the words. "Why protect us? We are useless and empty without you. I am useless and empty. I feel only the pain and loneliness your death has left me with. I can see your death repeatedly in my dreams, in my mind, and I am surprised that I have not gone insane from it. Insane from the grief and loneliness. Insane from the knowledge that I failed. I failed you, I failed me, the rest of the senshi, and I failed Haruka. She hurts so much because of your death, yet I cannot ease it. I can't even ease my own! How can I help her? How can any of us survive?" I sob harder, tears clouding my vision, yet I refuse to move my eyes from the lovely moon.  
  
"Usagi-chan, did you know that you mean the world to each of us? Do you know that you mean so much to me? Do you remember how I treated you before we knew you were the Messiah? I am sorry for that. I never meant to cause you pain. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to protect you. I treated you badly and I am sorry." I feel the tears hit my hands resting on the handrail.  
  
"Usagi-chan, I regret not telling you I was happy when I knew I was reborn here with a chance to protect you directly. I fought for you even alone on Neptune. I fought for you even then. But knowing I was able to be with you made my heart soar. I realized I was never going to feel the pain of a duty alone. But I was wrong. I am alone again. And I never told you that you made me into who I was. My memory of you made me. I never told you I adore you, I look up to you, care for you. I never told you I love you. Why didn't I tell you?! Why did I have wait until you can no longer hear me? I love you. I love you." I let out my pain and sorrow into those words I could finally say.  
  
"I can hear you, Michiru-chan." I sob harder with a brief wave of joy and relief fills me. She heard. She really heard.  
  
"Thank you, Usagi-chan," I whisper to her wherever she may be. Smiling softly, I thank whoever can hear me that my Queen knows how I feel. I now know that although I will forever feel this pain and sorrow, I will also have the relief and joy of being able to say 'I love you' to my Queen. To my dearest friend.  
  
I will see her again. Soon.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: Gods, what was I thinking when I originally wrote this? *shudder*  
  
Lovies! 


	7. Meiou Setsuna

Goodbyes: Meiou Setsuna  
  
Disclaimer: Sailormoon is not mine. I'm broke, don't sue!  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
'No!' I scream silently to myself, pacing in front of the Gate of Time, the only place I could be alone with my grief. Why didn't I see this coming? How could I have let this happen? I was never in denial about her death like the others were. I knew that this was an accident. An accident of fate, and even though I can open the gates of Time, I am powerless. For the first time, I am powerless. Collapsing onto the ground in the black void of time, I start to sob, thankful for the solitude during my grief. I don't want the others to see the Mistress of Time, the Mysterious Time Senshi, Sailor Pluto lose her composure. I don't want the others to see me, who has endured through thousands of years alone guarding the gate, cry. Who has endured the pain of the fall of the Silver Millennium. Who cannot endure the pain of losing her princess and future queen.  
  
The temptation to go back in time to change it is unbearable. Not knowing the consequences of how her survival will affect time in the long run is the only reason I have not attempted it. But I want to. I want to change time like I have never wanted to do anything else. Just to have my queen back. To see her smile and laugh again. Yet knowing I cannot grieves me beyond description. It tears at my soul that I can change it, but I must not.   
  
Getting control of myself, I open the time gate to the Silver Millennium on Earth. Looking over my prince's kingdom, the pain imbeds itself deeper. Closing the Gate, I walk on the Earth. Looking upon the Earth of so long ago, my vision wavers. The tears fall without warning as I fall to the ground. Screaming out in wordless agony, I throw myself upon the soft grass.  
  
'I failed.' If only I had seen it coming somehow. She wasn't supposed to protect us there. She wasn't supposed to be hit by a blast that was meant for all of us. We were supposed to be hit, and she was supposed to use her crystal to heal us. How fate changes. I should have seen it! I continue to badger myself mercilessly.  
  
I remember how much she brightened up my lonely existence my duty caused me, even during the Silver Millennium. I watched her, silently. I watched her grow up healthy and beautiful. I watched as she learned of her duty and the pain of her duty. I also watched her meet and care for the prince. I watched her bond with him grow into the strongest and deepest soul-bond I have ever known or heard of. Maybe I lived a little through her. I lived through her joys and her sorrows. I knew from early on she was worthy of the loyalty of the Outer and Inner Senshi. I knew she was special.  
  
Watching her kill herself after Endymion fell protecting her was one of my most painful memories. Knowing this was apart of destiny and would lead to a better future never once comforted me. Seeing a woman so full of life and love reduced to suicide because her soul-bond was slain made my soul cry out. That such pain was necessary for a better future made me doubt my duty and myself. I wanted to save them both but I held fast. I went on because I knew the future.   
  
This time, I do not know what is to come. I am blind to the future for the first time since I became the guardian of Time. That scares me. Shakes me deep within my soul. The only knowledge of this new future is that Venus will be Queen in Serenity's stead while Chibi-Usa grows. And Endymion will most likely not be in the future. The bond between them is too strong. He will be empty should he live. It is painful to know this, yet allow it to happen. But I must allow it. I must allow it to take its course because nothing I can say or anyone else can say will ever save him. It is up to him and their bond.  
  
Knowing everything that will happen in the future, past and present lets out the joy in life. But when I was reborn on Earth with my princess, knowing that my duty was no longer solitary, I began to enjoy life. Even knowing things that happen. Now she is gone, and the joy I felt is gone. Sitting up slowly, sobs escaping me, I look up to the moon.  
  
I regret not telling her that she meant that much to me. I was cold to her when we first met, and continued to be cold to her for quite some time. Yet, I only did that for her protection. I didn't want her to get too involved. I wanted to protect her, yet I probably shouldn't have done it that way. I regret that now. I regret not telling her how I feel. I regret not telling her I love her.  
  
"Usagi-chan, Serenity, why did you have to be so unpredictable even to fate? My princess, you were to be my queen for another few centuries. But you have done what many have tried to do... Cheat Fate herself. And in doing so, you left behind so many in pieces. I know that is not what you planned on doing. You saw us in danger and acted. You acted because of your fear of being alone. Yet what about our fear of being alone? My greatest fear has always been losing you. And that has happened. How can I keep going? Yes, the Unshakable Pluto wants to die. All because you left us." I shake uncontrollable now, the moon brightens momentarily, probably due to the life upon it during this time.  
  
"Usagi-chan, do you know what is even worse than your death? Knowing I can change it, yet dare not. I dare not change this new future because I do not know the consequences of changing it. How ironic. I control the Gates of Time, yet must not use it even to save the most important person in so many lives, in my life." Leaning on my staff, I let myself feel the pain, loneliness, grief, and hopelessness. The moon wavers through my tears.  
  
"Usagi-chan, why didn't I tell you how much you are needed? Why didn't I tell you that you were important to this world, to me? Why couldn't I tell you before you left us? Why did I never say I love you? Now you are gone, and I never told you. You never knew. You will never know now." I whisper quietly as the sobs choke me.  
  
"I knew, Setsuna-san." Looking up, hope starts to fill me.   
  
"Thank you, Usagi-chan," I say, opening the Gate. Looking once over my shoulder, I realize this isn't the end. I will always feel the void where she once was, and the pain of her death. But I will see my Queen again. I'll see her when we join her. Until then, I will stand guard over the Gates of Time so that our past, present, and future are protected. For her.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: GAH! So not the best, but I tried!  
  
Lovies! 


	8. Tomoe Hotaru

Goodbyes: Tomoe Hotaru  
  
Disclaimer: Sailormoon is not mine.  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
The princess is gone. I felt her leave this world. I felt her pain and agony the blast inflicted, and then felt her peace as she left. Tears cloud my eyes. Some are tears of happiness, and some of pain and loneliness. It's hard to feel so many contradicting emotions. Knowing that the princess is truly gone, I feel the loneliness and despair of not being with her. But feeling her peace and happiness lets me know that this death is welcome. Her only darkness is her pain and loneliness for her friends and Endymion.  
  
Meeting her as Usagi-chan, I saw a very open and optimistic girl, and I wished I could be like her. I was sick and weak, and because of my blackouts, I was alone. She and Chibi-Usa-chan were never scared or frightened of me. They cared for me but never pitied me. I have never felt as important as I did when I was with them, with her.  
  
As Sailor Moon, she never once gave up on me. She believed in me when Mistress 9 took over my body. She believed me when I cried out to her. She believed in me enough to give me the Chalice when she knew that she might lose everything. She couldn't let me die. And for that I was thankful. I learned then that she was worthy of protection and of protecting this world. That she never gave up when all hope seemed lost inspired me. That she trusted someone who could very well lead to the destruction of the world. Even knowing that as Saturn I would destroy the world upon awakening, she wouldn't let the Outers kill me. That faith gave me hope. I knew then that she was the Messiah of Light. Our princess.  
  
The princess is why we fought, why we lived, why we existed. She is why we endured the loneliness of our duty. To make sure she was happy and able to protect the universe should the need arise.  
  
I regret not telling her why I fought. I regret not telling her how much I need her. I regret not telling her I love her.  
  
"Usagi-chan, I know that you are happier where you are now. I can feel it. Yet, I still cannot help but wish you were here. Here to take away the pain and loneliness. But I guess I shouldn't feel too bad. I'm the only one of the Senshi that can feel the peace surrounding you. I cannot feel our bond anymore and that rips at my soul. Yet I feel the peace you feel." I sob quietly letting myself grieve for such a good friend.  
  
"Usagi-chan, I'm sorry I cannot help the others deal with your death. I'm sorry I cannot help the King. I'm sorry for so many things now. I'm sorry I never told you 'thank you' for saving me. I'm sorry I never told you how much you mean to me. I'm sorry I never told you I love you. I wish, just once, I could say those words to you. To know that you know how I feel. I'm sorry for my weakness. I'm sorry I never told you."  
  
"You told me, Hotaru-chan, just now." Looking up, I start to smile. That is our Queen for you. Even beyond the grave, she looks out for us. Smiling through my tears, I let myself miss her, but knowing that death never separates any of us eases my pain. I let myself feel. Feel my love for her.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: This one is not so great... *sigh* Okay, it's the worst one out of them all. It's AWFUL!  
  
Lovies! 


	9. Luna

Goodbyes: Luna  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, get it?  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Usagi-chan... I lay down on her bed. Remembering all the times she flung me out of bed in her sleep makes me cry harder. "Why?" I sob out. My princess sacrificed herself. I was supposed to be her guardian. I'm just a worthless excuse for one. Why did Queen Serenity have to put so much faith in me? I'm just a cat. A talking cat, but a cat just the same. I let the princess die again. Again! I failed. I failed.  
  
I'm glad Artemis finally went back to Mina-chan's room. He tried to comfort me. But he hurts too. I can't help him. Mina-chan probably needs him too. She looked devastated when she found out she was to be Queen Regent. I cry out to the night. I cry out my pain, my failure, my hopelessness, and my despair. 'Why Usagi-chan?' I ask myself for the millionth time. 'WHY?!' Looking up towards the moon, I let myself feel the self-hatred and the pain.  
  
I always criticized her and nagged her. Ever since I first met her, I criticized and nagged. Never once told her I was proud of her. Never once told her she did a good job. I always nagged.  
  
When I first met her, I never realized she was the princess I was looking for. All I saw was a clumsy crybaby. After the first couple of fights, I knew that she would become a great fighter. Not for her skills but for her heart. She didn't want to be a Soldier for Love and Justice. She didn't want the responsibility. She understood the burden and didn't want it. She didn't want to have a secret life. She wanted to be normal, just like she wanted to be on the moon. Maybe I should have realized who she was then. But I was blind. And I nagged. I yelled at her and made her fight. I made her fight, made her doubt Tuxedo Kamen. I made her fight her love. I revived her memory when all she wanted to do was be normal. I revived Sailor Moon to fight alone. Then I refused to revive Mamoru-san's memories. I could have. But I thought that he would distract her. No, that's not true. I was over protective. I thought that he would hurt her. And I didn't want her to hurt. Yet, it was me who hurt her.  
  
I hurt my princess. I made her suffer needlessly, and yet the queen insisted I be her guardian. I failed in everything when it came to her. I failed in protecting her many times. I failed in sparing her pain. Most of all I failed in telling her I cared. I never told her I cared about her. I never said I was proud. I never said I loved her. I regret that now. More than anything.  
  
"Usagi-chan, I'm sorry, my princess. I'm sorry I was such a bad guardian. I'm so sorry I let you die. I'm sorry I never let you be happy. I'm sorry I took away your innocence. I'm sorry I took away everything. I'm so terribly sorry I made you fight Endymion. Most of all I'm sorry I let you down. I never told you that I love you, did I? Never told you I was, *am* so proud of you. You grew into a beautiful and caring warrior. I'm proud of you, Usagi-chan. I'm so proud of you. I'm sorry I never told you before. I never told you I love you. I failed." I hang my head in shame as tears flow.  
  
"No, Luna, you did not." I snap my head up. 'I didn't?' I ask silently, knowing there wouldn't be a reply. She gave me the only one I really needed. She heard me. She heard me and doesn't hate me for not telling her. She doesn't think I failed. She doesn't think I failed! I smile sadly, and start to purr.  
  
"Thank you, Usagi-chan. Thank you, my Queen," I say softly. Curling into a ball, I fall into a peaceful sleep.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: I'm not a cat and I don't play one on TV. :P So, if it seems weird I'm sorry! Not to mention this whole series of fics here get worse the longer it is... I need to add new ones instead of reposting old ones... that way maybe I can give it SOMETHING.  
  
Lovies! 


	10. Artemis

Goodbyes: Artemis  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, will never be mine, I never claimed it was mine.  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
'Princess...' Watching Mina's sleeping form, I move towards the window. Mina seems to be feeling better now. I wonder what happened. She seems at peace. Still sad and lonely but like she knows something I do not. Sitting on the sill, I look out at the night. So quiet tonight. Tears come, and for once, I do not stop them. I'm alone for all purposes. I can cry now. I'm not trying to comfort Luna or Mina anymore. I can let out the pain.  
  
Pain is a fickle thing. Emotional pain hurts so much more than physical. It hurts in a different way. I feel so useless. The Queen is gone. And with her the hope of the world. Mina is to be Regent now and I know she never wanted that. How I wish my charge didn't have to feel this pain. The pain of loss and loneliness. The pain I feel. I was never as close to Usagi-chan as the others. I was closer to Mina or Luna. But I feel the pain too. I love our princess too. She lit up the world and made everything okay. I may be Mina's guardian but I was to help Luna with her charge too. I wasn't only Mina's. I was Usagi's too.  
  
She left us so abruptly. Poor Endymion. He is devastated. I doubt if he'll survive this. Hell, if it wasn't for Rei-chan and her promise to Usagi, he would have jumped off the nearest bridge or building the moment after the fight.  
  
How alone everyone feels now. How alone I feel. She gave us something irreplaceable. She gave us life and love. She gave us hope. I sigh sadly. And I never told her she meant a lot to me. I never told her I care about her, like I care for Mina. Luna feels like she failed. But I feel like I failed too. I failed in making sure the Senshi were together. Making sure they fought together and for each other. I failed in keeping the princess alive. I failed in that. But most of all I failed in telling her how special she was to all of us. I failed in telling her that I love her. Looking towards the moon, I feel the soft peace the moon gives off. But it doesn't affect me. It can't now.  
  
How could I let this happen? How could I? I hate myself for not being able to help anyone in this hopeless situation. I can't even help myself. Why didn't I tell her? Why didn't I tell her I love her long before she died?  
  
"Usagi-chan..." I sob out quietly, so I don't wake Mina. "Usagi-chan, you were so important to everyone. Yet, now, you are so far away. Why does fate have to be so cruel? Why can't people just be happy? Why couldn't you have survived? I guess there will never be an answer to that. The world is falling apart. I can't keep it together anymore. I don't even want to try. Without you, we all lost hope. We all lost what is most dear to us. You. Usagi-chan, I never told you what you mean to me. I never told you I love you. I never told you any of that. Now, you'll never hear it. Never hear the words from any of us. We all regret not telling you things. I most of all regret not telling you that you were a wonderful warrior. I regret not telling you I'm proud of you and your mother would be too. I regret not telling you I love you. I'm sorry. So sorry, Usagi-chan." I sob quietly. Feeling the emptiness.  
  
"Don't be, Artemis. I knew all along." Smiling, I stand up. I should have known. Should have known she'd find away to offer comfort even in death.  
  
"Thanks, Usagi-chan." Stretching, I go over to Mina. Purring, I lay beside her head. This must have been what eased her guilt and pain. 'Thank you for that too, Usagi-chan,' I say silently. Letting sleep overcome me, my last thought is that maybe...just maybe, life isn't over after all.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: Um, well, YOU try to write from a cat's point of view! Gee! I know, not that great, but what can I say? Still little practice ficcies :P I wouldn't even be posting them if it weren't for the fact that people keep wanting me to. ^_^  
  
Lovies! 


	11. ChibiUsa

Goodbyes: Chibi-Usa  
  
Disclaimer: Chibi-Usa isn't mine... Hell, I don't even really like her too much, but it wouldn't be right to leave her out. So, I don't want to own her :P  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
'Mama...' I cry silently. Sitting on the swing in the park, I stare at my mother's old home, the moon. Mama's gone and Daddy will soon follow. I know this deep within my soul. It isn't as if Daddy doesn't love me. It's that he would die without Mamma. He loves me, yet the bond between them is too strong. Sometimes I hate that bond. For making sure that if I lose one parent, I will lose both. But I cannot hate a thing that has no life of its own for long. And I cannot hate something I wish to have someday. I know that any soul-bond I will have will never be as strong as theirs. Yet I long to have one. Mama once told me that sometimes she wished the bond wasn't so strong. I remember that one conversation above all others right now.  
  
~~~  
  
"Small Lady, the soul-bond is a beautiful and wonderful thing and I am sure that one day you and your future love will indeed have one," my mother said softly.  
  
"Mama, will it be as strong as yours and Daddy's?" I asked innocently. Now I wish I hadn't.  
  
She got up and turned towards the window of my room. "Darling, I don't know. Our bond is stronger than it should be. Pluto once told me she doesn't understand how it could have evolved so strongly. We can hear each other's thoughts and feelings unwillingly. Even now, with your father all the way across the world, I can hear him think. He's thinking of the annoying aristocrats he's dealing with." My mother giggled right then. I started to giggle with her. "Darling, sometimes it can be a wonderful thing. It is wonderful to be able to tell him right this moment that I love him and miss him. And I can express my love for him wordlessly and he understands completely."  
  
"Mama, that's good though, isn't it? I mean there are no doubts about how you feel towards each other like most couples have. Isn't that a good thing?" I asked.  
  
"Darling, as I said sometimes it's a very good thing. Others though aren't so good. Sometimes when I have a concern that I wish to be private, it is painful to block part of our bond so that he will not feel my unease. Yet, by blocking it, I let him know I do not want to share something with him and he gets it out of me anyway. Sometimes, when I'm just being silly that is also good. But when my friends tell me in confidence a secret, he knows too. And that makes me feel like I betrayed them. I once asked them if they felt the same way." My mother smiled fondly. "They said that they always expected that my husband knew their secrets too. That they know that I never wished to betray them and that they never minded the bond. For they have no secrets from me or from him. Yet, sometimes I feel as though they don't tell me some things, because he will know then too. Do you understand, Small Lady?" She asked me suddenly.  
  
"I think so, but even so don't you enjoy being so close to someone?" I asked.  
  
She sighed suddenly. "Yes, I do. But like now, it is painful to be so separated from him. I can feel the distance between us. Knowing his thoughts is a comfort to some extent but feeling how far away he is tears at our bond. He feels it too and when we are separated, we are never completely happy. Small Lady, the bond we have is too strong. We aren't completely one or anything, thank god for that. But if one of us should ever die, the other will follow. That is why I wish the bond wasn't so strong. I know that if your father were to die, I would go too. And I know he feels that too. That is the only reason I hate this bond so. Because we have you, Small Lady. Because no matter how much we love you, and never doubt that, if you lost one of us, you will also lose the other. Our fear of leaving you alone before you are ready tears at us. If that were not the case, the bond wouldn't be a burden at all. I would relish it. If not for that." She started to cry softly.   
  
I blinked in surprise. My mother doesn't cry. Not in front of anyone. Except Daddy of course. It's the queen in her. It wasn't good for a queen to cry.   
  
"Mama? Mama, it'll be okay." I went to her and hugged her around the waist. "Mama, I love you and Daddy, but I'll be okay. I have the Senshi. They will take care of me. I'll miss you and cry a lot, but Mama, I will be okay. I'll be sad, but knowing my parents were so closely bonded will make me proud. That they loved each other more than anyone else has ever loved or probably will again makes me proud. I'll be okay, Mama. Please don't cry anymore." I tried to comfort my mother in the only way I could.  
  
"Small Lady," she said softly, kneeling down to hold me. "You are such a grown up little girl. You make Daddy and me so proud, darling."  
  
~~~  
  
'Mama...Daddy...' I cry softly. I love my parents very much. I don't blame Mama. She did what she thought was right. She died for the Senshi. I'm proud of her for that. But I still hurt so much. I don't blame her or Daddy. Daddy will leave me too. But I don't hate them. I've known this for a long time. All I feel is an unbearable sadness. Sadness that I will be alone now. I will never be with my parents. I wish I told my Mama more often that I loved her.   
  
"Mama, please don't leave me. Don't leave me alone. I'm scared, Mama." I shake now, emotion over coming me. "Rei-san once told me I got that from you. The fear of being alone. She also said that one day maybe I would be a great queen because I might have inherited more. Mama, I know you did what you had too and even though I wish you didn't, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of my Mama." I continue to stare at the moon.  
  
"Mama, I'm sorry I'm not as grown up as you. I'm not a Lady like you were. I'm sorry that I always teased you. I just want you to know that I love you, Mom. I love you so much. I never told you often enough. I'm sorry. I love you, Mama," I cry out.  
  
"I love you too, Small Lady." The tears fall faster. She heard me. She really heard me. Looking at the moon, I remember something else she once said. That if I ever needed her, even in death she would be there. My beautiful Mama.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: Well, I know, it sucks :P I'm not that good with Chibi-Usa.  
  
Lovies! 


	12. Chiba Mamoru

Goodbyes: Chiba Mamoru  
  
Disclaimer: Mamo-chan is mine! Mwahahahahahahaha! *Sigh* Okay, I'm kidding! He's not, I only wish... deep in my heart for a man... tall, dark, and just yummy! Don't sue!   
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
They finally left. They mean well but they do not know. They do not know how I need her. How I feel myself drawn towards her. Pluto knows I will not live much longer and is saddened, but she doesn't know the true extent of it. I feel nothing now, nothing except the pain and despair her death has left me with. I feel no remorse that my death will cause anyone. All I feel is emptiness and loneliness. I feel where I bond used to be... and I feel nothing. That hurts me more.  
  
Usako... I saw her die. I felt her pain. I felt her sorrow at leaving me... but she still left. Getting up and moving onto my bed, I look out towards the moon. I feel my soul tearing and slipping away. How can the Senshi know how I feel? How can they know that my entire life I have felt her? Somewhere deep within me I have felt her presence. Yet, now for the first time, I feel nothing. Nothing at all where there should be love and light. I spent my entire life trying to find the other part of my soul. Now, it is gone.  
  
When I first saw her, I felt something. I felt alive. I felt attraction and love for such a young girl. I thought I had gone insane. How could I love someone who I just met? Let alone a girl who seemed so different from me. She called for me to trust her with everything she was. And that scared me. Never had I felt my defenses crumbling before. She just inspired my trust and love... and she hadn't even seen me. So my first action when I was hit with that test... was to protect myself. Protect myself from this small slip of a girl who made me fall for her without even telling me her name. I felt like I knew her a long time ago and I felt as though I waited my whole life for her. And I did. I protected myself by withdrawing myself from her. I teased her mercilessly and was a cruel bastard. Oh, many assume that was to see her mad; because I thought she was beautiful mad. Oh, she was breathtaking but that wasn't the reason.  
  
I didn't want years of defenses taken down by one moment with this girl. I was scared. I was immediately sorry that I hurt her. But that didn't change what I did and continued to do to her. I hated every minute of it...but I felt an urge to protect myself from more pain.  
  
How foolish I was. If I just would have let myself open up to her like my heart and soul told me to, I could have spent more time with her. Soon though, soon. I will be with her for eternity. I feel my life slipping away. And I welcome it. I welcome the oblivion of death.  
  
Smiling through my tears, I remember her sweet smile. If only I could have made it appear more often. If only I wasn't such an ass to her. I hurt her too many times. Shaking with sobs, I look towards the ceiling.  
  
"Usako. Usako...I'll be with you soon, won't I? That is my only fear. That dying won't reunite us. That is why I haven't let myself slip away yet. I'll be with you, right Usako?" I ask the room. I was expecting no answer but I got one.  
  
"Yes, love. You will be with me," she says in her beautiful voice. Looking towards it, I see her. I see her as solid as ever and as alive.  
  
"You're alive?" I ask, scared of the answer. "Or am I dreaming?  
  
"No, I'm not alive and neither are you dreaming. I'm here Mamo-chan. I'm real too." I stand up moving slowly towards her. Lifting up my hand, I shakily start to reach for her cheek. Expecting nothing but air, I was surprised when I touched her. It felt warm and alive.  
  
"Usako..." I say hope filling my soul.  
  
"Mamo-chan..." she says lovingly. "Oh, Mamo-chan." I then grab her fiercely and hug her like a lifeline. Burying my face into her neck and hair, I cry. I cry out my pain and loneliness and despair her death left me with. I cry out the hopelessness and lifeless-ness I feel. I cry out all my sorrows into my dead lover's embrace. She puts her arms around me as I slide to my knees, letting myself slide until I was holding on to her waist, crying like a lost little boy.  
  
"Mamo-chan," she says, "Its okay, its okay. I'm here now. I've come for you, love. I'm here now. Cry, love, cry. You can cry." Stroking my hair, she also starts to shake.  
  
"Usako, why did you leave me? Why did you have to leave me all alone? You promised me, remember? You promised you wouldn't leave me alone. Oh, Usako..." I say, sobbing.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mamo-chan, I'm sorry. I had too. I had to save my friends and save you. I never meant to hurt you. I would never have done that purposely. Never. I love you." She continues to console me until my sobs slow down. I feel her now. I feel our bond and it's as strong as ever. I start in surprise.  
  
"Wha...?" I ask.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"The bond, it's back! How?"  
  
"It's because you are dying, love. You are neither of this world or the next but of both. That is why. I always wanted you to live and be happy regardless of what happens to me. But I knew that would never happen without me. No matter what any body would have done, you would have joined me anyway and I'm sorry, Mamo-chan. I'm sorry my death is shortening your life," she tells me sadly, pain deep in her eyes.  
  
"Don't be, Usako. I want to be with you. Dead or alive. I want to be with you." Standing up I moved towards my bed pulling her with me. Sitting down, I lifted her chin so that I could look into her beautiful eyes. They were filled with unshed tears, shining brightly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mamo-chan. When I died... I felt our bond tear and break, and it nearly destroyed me, even in death. When I realized you were feeling the same and I knew you would join me soon. That is the only think keeping me alive in a sense, alive in the next world. Otherwise my soul would have been destroyed."  
  
"Our bond is that strong?" I ask in awe.  
  
"Yes, Mother told me that most soul-bonded people die together. But she saw how strong our bond was. She saw that if you did not join me soon, I would die in that world as well. She couldn't believe our bond had evolved so even when we've been separated though all time, even with the past few centuries of being married."  
  
"Usako, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I took so long to join you. I tried to after I defeated that youma but Rei-chan wouldn't let me. I only felt the pain. My body was on fire with the pain of your loss."  
  
"I'm sorry, Mamo-chan. I made Rei-chan promise to look after you should I ever die. I'm sorry. I just wanted you looked after."  
  
"Usako, don't be sorry for loving me." I reach out and pulled her to me. Leaning down, I let myself taste her. I kissed her roughly and fiercely. I couldn't help it. I had thought I lost her. I needed to know she was really here. Feeling her respond I leaned her down upon the bed. Slowly starting to unbutton her shirt, I slowly kissed down her neck until we knew nothing but our love.  
  
~~~  
  
"Mamo-chan... It's time. We must go."  
  
"Yes, Usako." I say. I continue to lay with her, but look over at her. "I love you, Usako..."  
  
"I love you too, Mamo-chan." I continue to look at her as I feel the peace come. Peace with my princess. I smile softly and close my eyes.   
  
~~~  
  
That is how they found me the next afternoon. Each felt a kind of peace that my Usako had given them and went to check on me. They found me smiling softly and peacefully. They shed tears but knew I was happy and with Usako.  
  
I watched them with my wife, my love, until the last of them left the room. I turn towards her and smile. "Let's go," I suggest, and taking her hand, we both fade from the room to reach towards the heavens.  
  
Together.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: Um, sorry to kill him, but that's the way I see it. I'm sorry! I think that if Usa died, Mamoru would follow... And it really sucks as a fic, I'm aware! Sorry!  
  
Lovies! 


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